It’s been too long, I know. Much has been going on. Many changes taking place and honestly, I’ve been dealing with my flesh. I’m thankful for this forum, where I’m among dear friends. I’m about to bear my soul here and believe me when I say that I know what the scripture means when it says, that we are to continue to work out our salvation with fear and trembling. (Philippians 2:12) I’ve been having to work out a great many things here lately. However, I take great comfort in that because this trembling… this fear of the unknown… of being somewhere in the “in between”… this testing of my faith… is EVIDENCE that (verse 13) “it is God who works in me to will and to act in order to fulfill His good purpose.”
All that being said, let me lay some ground work for what’s on my heart to share. Many years ago a prophet came to the church and I wasn’t one to seek a prophetic word. Almost right away, after I was first saved, God put that strange fire out in me. The prophetic isn’t strange fire. The unchecked zeal in seeking after a man to do for me what only God could do for me, that’s what God had to deal with. And so… I was a little uneasy sitting there, listening as my church family received glorious and seemingly glamorous words for their life. One was a prophetess. One an evangelist and a worshiper. One this and one that. You see where I’m going here? What was I? I knew what God had said. I had discovered it on my own and was happy being who God made me to be. But I wasn’t ready for someone to put a label on it.
Long story short… the minister of helps. That’s me. The prophet called me up there and nailed it. I was ALL that and a bag of chips. Well… at least a minister of helps and a “servant”. Now, please don’t misunderstand me but my heart broke. Even though I knew everything he had said was right and it was GOD, (he even said “Don’t pigeon-hole yourself. You aren’t called to do just one thing. There are many things for you to do.”) I did not receive the Word with honor. I was swallowed up in offense and pride. And then God graciously reminded me…
But ye shall not be so: but he that is greatest among you, let him be as the younger; and he that is chief, as he that doth serve. For whether is greater, he that sitteth at meat, or he that serveth? is not he that sitteth at meat? but I am among you as he that serveth. (Luke 22:26-28)
You see, He was actually getting to the heart of the matter with me and honoring me with such a humble Word. I didn’t know but I was having an inward struggle that was very much like the disciples… (Luke 22:24)
“And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest.”
He so tenderly reassured me, “No Stacey. Not you. I won’t have you comparing and striving in your heart about who you are. I won’t have you vying for a label or a title or a position. I am among You as the One who serves. Be like Me.”
Years have passed and much has happened. I’ve had more joy in serving the body of Christ than I have ever imagined possible. It’s been the greatest privilege of my life and I am deeply grateful. More than I can even express. And He has placed BIG dreams in my heart.
Which leads me to where I am today. Part of the BIG dream is Uganda. Having been sent there twice and having tasted that “yes, it’s going to happen”, you can perhaps sympathize with the trying of my faith when God required my obedience in a way I didn’t expect as I made ready to go a third time. Everything was in order and I was all set. It was the DAY BEFORE I was to leave. THE DAY BEFORE. And God said, “Do NOT go!” That’s an entire blog post in itself but what it came down to was, was I willing to do what He said, even when it didn’t make sense… even when all seemed lost… even when relationships would be strained, my integrity scrutinized and I would never know why? Was I willing? And the answer was yes! I stayed home.
Afterward, I grieved… deeply.
And wouldn’t you know it, during that season of grief, a man came to the church. He and his wife pulled in to the church parking lot with the RV, he walked through the front door and basically dropped the bomb. He said, “Here you are. You’re a minister of helps and don’t be surprised when God requires more of you here.” The word came in a haze really. I don’t really know that I heard much of what he said. Forgive me. I don’t mean any disrespect. God knows everything I’m about to say but when he showed up, I was scrubbing toilets. He came in like Captain Obvious with his cape and stated what was plainly seen. “You’re here to help.”
Let me just tell you. I believed him. I knew what he said was true and that God had sent him but boy was I mad! When he and my pastor left the building, I went back to cleaning the toilets and yelled and carried on. “Why God? Why?!” I felt like the biggest joke ever! The kind of joke that no one gets and doesn’t even laugh at.
What I failed to hear were the words, “I will increase you and prosper you. And as you serve, I will add to you and bring help. You will be happy.”
God again had to revisit my pride issue. He again had to remind me… “No Stacey. Not you….”
I am among you as the One who serves. REMEMBER…
The next day, I was driving to work and passed a truck that read, “ALL”. And on the side in huge letters, “ONE CALL DOES IT ALL.”
What hope filled my heart.
And shortly after that, I was called into the office and was asked to take on more. I said yes and it’s been a privilege. It has challenged me. Stretched me. It’s even been God’s rod of correction unto me. My plate is FULL. Not your ordinary dinner plate either. It’s an oblong, divided, cafeteria style plate FULL! But man, it feels good. I know this is where God wants me and somehow, I am happier now in my work that I have ever been. Not only is my plate full but my cup is running over.
And, are you ready for this? It’s been since October that I made that heart-rending decision to trust God’s “no” and I just now realized that the prophetic word is in the early stages of coming to pass. I’m living it out. If I’m in the stage of “don’t be surprised when God requires more of you here“, that means the rest is coming! The part about increasing me and prospering me. The part about adding to me and bringing the much needed help. The part about being happy. It’s coming! It’s here.
The same is true for you.